


Things Are Okay Mom

by lawgrain



Series: D.H. The Piano Man [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 22:23:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16206878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawgrain/pseuds/lawgrain
Summary: He was there to make his parents happy. He was there for them. Somehow that stopped mattering.Can be read alone but is set before my other story Don't Hate the Piano Man





	Things Are Okay Mom

**Author's Note:**

> If you didn't read the tags, this is triggering.

Things didn't feel right lately. 

Dan didn't know what it was. Somewhere deep back in his mind he could tell something was off, but he did nothing about it. Why bother? It wasn't as if anything would change. 

“So, how are the classes going honey?” His mom bumbled on the other end of the phone.

“Things are okay mom.” Dan answered. It felt like he'd answered that a thousand times. Did anyone even care what the words meant anymore?

“You sure?” She sounded timid. 

“Yeah.” 

_Just keep answering. She just wants answers._

“You've just seemed a bit down lately…”

How was he supposed to answer again? Oh yeah. 

“Things are going okay mom.”

“Yes, I know. Anyway, I just love that you're going to become a lawyer. It's such a good decision.”

_Just keep answering._

“Yeah, I'm glad you like it.”

“'Like it'? Did you not just hear me say 'love it'? Really Daniel, I've bragged about you to all my friends.”

_Keep answering._

“Really?”

“Of course! And really, I can't figure out where some of their children are heading.”

_Keep. Answering._

“Where their children are heading?”

“Well it's not that their doing anything bad. Just that it's impractical. One is convinced that a dance degree will ensure them a job in their future.”

_Why do I have to answer?_

“Oh.”

“I know. Bit foolish, but you don't have to worry about any of that.”

No he doesn't. He just had to keep existing. He just had to get through the conversation. That's all. Just one simple, stupid thing. Why couldn't he do that? 

“Yeah.”

“Yeah… are sure you're doing alright? Do you want to come home and visit sometime?”

_Default response. Just do the default response._

“Things are going okay.”

Maybe that'd be enough. 

“If you're sure.” She didn't sound convinced, but Dan didn't think it mattered. Not as long as he was doing what they wanted. “Oh I gotta go, your father just got home. I'll call you later.”

“Oka–” 

The phone clicked off. 

At least he didn't have to speak anymore. 

Maybe he should just sleep. Maybe sleep would make him feel better. 

It didn't. 

Dan wonders what the benefit of consciousness is. Is there a benefit? All it brings is anxiety. 

But at least the people here didn't care. He didn't have to keep up a pretense. Didn't have to do anything except meet his family's requirements. He could do that. 

Well he could do that until he couldn't anymore. But he didn't realize that he couldn't till too late. 

He still didn't feel right. It felt worse than before. 

_Riiing._

It was probably his mom. 

_Riiing._

It was always his mom. 

_Riiing._

Did it even matter if he picked up? 

_Riiing._

Would it make a difference? 

_Riiing._

Probably not. Nothing he ever did made a difference. 

That was the first time Dan ignored a phone call from his mom. He was right; it didn't seem to make a difference. 

“He's a bit odd. I wouldn't ask him if he knew the answer.” Dan overheard a girl in class. 

Dan didn't know who the girl speaking was. 

“Odd? More like depressed emo." 

He did, however, know the conversation was about him. 

“Would he even count as emo? It seems more like a sad attempt at emo, if anything.” 

He knew he should be hurt by the comments. He wasn't though. He felt nothing. 

He got back to the dorms. Why was he still doing this? He didn't know. 

__

His mom had stopped calling recently. 

__

It didn't matter. There was no reason for it to matter. He still did what they wanted so that they could still be happy. 

__

Dan wasn't happy though. But that didn't matter either. 

__

There was no reason for it to matter. 

__

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

__

Dan turned off the alarm. 

__

He went back to sleep. 

__

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

__

It was the next day. 

__

Dan turned off the alarm. 

__

He went to sleep. 

__

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

__

Why did he even set the alarm anymore. Every day was the same. Every single stupid day was the same. 

__

Dan went back to sleep. 

__

He didn't reset his alarm. 

__

Dan was alone. This wasn't a new concept but remembering now felt different. It felt freeing. 

__

He didn't have to do this anymore. He was alone and no one would care. 

__

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

__

He thought he had stopped setting his alarm. 

__

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

__

It wasn't his alarm. 

__

Oh shit, what had he done? 

__

His mom was devastated. 

__

“It's okay mom. Things are still okay, alright?” 

“No, things are not okay, Dan.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is an impulse post, as in just wrote it before posting (so sorry if it sucks). I've gotten no second opinions on it so feel free to be the first to leave a comment. Or not, I won't be offended. 
> 
> I may later add another chapter on how things went after this which would also heavily relate to the main story. But yeah this is a bit more in depth of Dan for those who came here from D.H. the Piano Man


End file.
